A Forever Home

Pretty much all of my friends have kids and those who don't have kids, have partners.. I have my dog and parrot. Don't get me wrong.. I love them and they are great company but the balance of conversation is somewhat limited to say the least! When my mom was alive I had seriously looked into adoption. Adoption from China to be exact. I had registered with Family Services of Vancouver to get their news letter and was looking into international adoption criteria. It is not an easy process but then nothing I do is EVER easy! For some reason, I find joy in doing things the hard way. I knew I wanted a girl and I knew I would have to travel to China for approximately two weeks to pick up my "daughter". No problem, my mom would come with me.

Then my mom past away and the thought of adopting went with her. A few weeks ago my supervisor came to me and said that she thought I really need to start re-thinking the idea of giving a child "a forever home". She seems to think that it would not only be good for the child, but for me also. I don't deny that it would take the focus off me and I wouldn't have to worry about addressing any issues I'm currently trying to address. But would that be the right thing to do? Would ignoring the challenges I'm facing today be best for a child? Wouldn't it make more sense to have things in order with myself before trying to deal with a child who will be bound to have their own challenges?

It would solve a lot of things for me.. I would have someone to love. I would have someone who really needed me. I would have that challenge in my life that may just fill that void that seems to have appeared. Then I think of all the cons.. can I afford it right now? Do I really have what it takes to give a child the home they deserve? Do I have the patience and the energy? Do I have the follow thru or skills or maturity? Do I have the emotional strength to support the child's emotional needs? I have the time and the room but then what about my other plans? What about joining sports or traveling? Honestly those are little things that don't really matter but what about the big things like will my family love an adopted child as much as if the child were my own blood? Will an adoption agency even want to adopt to a single person in a wheelchair?

To adopt a child can cost in the neighborhood of $20,000 or more. I do not have that kind of money!! But then I could always adopt from MCFD and there is no cost but likelihood of having a child with special needs increases considerably. Then again, adopting a child internationally also has a high likelihood of a special needs child but in other ways. I could end up with a child with RAD (reactive attachment disorder). I could end up with a child with FASD (fetal alcohol syndrome disorder). I could just end up with a child I fall deeply in love with.

Its such a huge commitment. Such a huge sacrifice. But I keep going back to the questions Am I ready? Do I really want to do this? Am I doing this for the right reasons? Can I really afford this? Is it the right time? What age would fit best with my life and family? and Will I have the support I will need from my friends and family? Bottom line is nothing would happen overnight, what harm can it do to look into it?