Photogirl: Long time no blog!

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Long time no blog!

Forgive me bloggers, it's been 2.5 years since my last blog... so there was a little hiccup in the blog department. My trip to California with my mom was so awesome! It was better than I could have ever imagined but sadly, two months after we got back, my mom passed away from congestive heart failure. Grief is a strange thing to go thru. I would never have thought I, of all people, would have a breakdown and end up in a mental hospital! But, alas I did. Accepting that mom was gone was too much to bare... it's still hard even now, but in a much healthier way. I was put on anti-depressants and anti-psychotic drugs that not only masked any grief I should have gone thru, it screwed up my memory something fierce! All I can say is thank God I have the family and friends I have, because what I put them thru is something I wouldn't wish on anybody!

The shrink had me so over-medicated and the only reason things changed is because I ended up with kidney failure and a severe pressure sore (not related to the drugs) that was almost lethal. I ended up in the hospital for 9 months!! The hospital doctors changed the doses and discontinued most of the meds I was on and thankfully after two years I'm finally back to myself.. pissyness and all! LOL

It's been a long haul in hospital.. after being so close to losing my left leg and half my pelvis, along with my life, I am close to being fully repaired again! After everything I've gone thru, you'd think going home would be the most exciting thing but let me tell you, it was one of the most scary things I had to face. Sounds ridiculous considering what had been going on in the last two years but when you are so drugged up and out of it, being clear-headed and having to face life again in a whole new context was frightening! At least when I was in my 'fog' as I will now refer to it, I didn't have to face reality.. or I did but chose not to.

But the train of life goes on and I need to make sure that I'm on the right track this time. I have so much to do and God only knows how much time to do it in... all things happen for a reason.. and I think I've found mine.

Here are a few pictures to encapsulate the last two years.... from weddings to births to rehab.. what a couple of years it's been!! LOL