Victoria Fun

I love Victoria, always have, always will. I grew up there. It's my home away from home but it's so different now. Nothing is the same. My dream would be to have a bridge to get on and off the rock though. I can't live there... at least not right now.... but my heart gets pulled every time I go over there. I love seeing my sisters, nephews, nieces and friends. I also love seeing my dad but it so hard going there and not seeing my mom. You'd think I would have gotten over it by now, but I haven't. It's just not the same.

I went over for Thanksgiving and although I had a great time spending it at my sisters and having most of my family there, missing was my dad and my sister Sandra. It's not like Sandi came over all the time, usually it was only on labour day weekend and Christmas, but still, there was an absence. It was also really disappointing not having my dad there. He wouldn't go because his new wife is sick, she's been sick ever since she came into the picture and he's changed... as much as I know he loves me, it feels like he chooses her over me all the time which makes me feel guilty because it's not a contest... but I still feel like I've lost something.

It's hard going back to the home I spent my teen years in with my mom and dad only to have some stranger move in and try to take her place. She uses items my mom made and talks like she's lived there forever when in fact she has never contributed anything to that home or the things in it. I want my dad to be happy but he's not, he's just a glorified caretaker.. at least that's what it feels like to me. So, when I go over there I stay with him but spend as little time in the house as possible when he isn't there.

It's not so bad though because I've been able to spend a lot more time with my sisters than I ever did growing up and I love that. This visit I even got to spend it with Kelly and his girlfriend taking pictures of their horses. Jen, Mark and Panda came over and although the intention was for Panda to go for a ride, she preferred feeding the horses carrots and playing with the cat.

I can't believe how grown up Raeya has gotten! She ran the kids marathon again this year, three years old and loving it! She's so sweet and loving and smart as a whip! She takes after her father and uncles in the technology department. She loves reading the books and playing the puzzles I have on my iPad but is just as content playing with her toys and making up games. So innocent!

Knifty Knitter!

Well its that time of year.. the weather is starting to change and it isn't so lovely outside.. but I have a great reason to stay inside.. I'm knitting!!

What first inspired me was a cause called Click for Babies.. you may have seen the link on my blog. The idea behind it is to knit or crochet purple hats for babies in order to bring awareness to shaken baby syndrome and the period of purple crying.

Often babies go thru a period of time (around 2 weeks of age peaking around 2 months and ending around the fourth month) when they cry and sometimes it feels like they will never stop, but they will.. I promise. I can honestly say with certainty that I have never seen a healthy 2 year old crying 24 hours a day!!

During this period of purple crying, parents can become very overwhelmed and unfortunately, some parents have gone as far as shaken their infants to make them stop crying. What they don't seem to understand is that an infants brain is like a ping pong ball inside their skull and will bounce around and if it doesn't kill them, it can give them severe brain damage. So, if you have to, walk away and take a time out and ask for some help!

Here are some of my hats.. take note that I've had to use a loom because my carpal tunnel is so bad and I've never made a hat before so they aren't perfect but they are made with love!

                                 

 

Sad day in cyberspace..

Although I've been blogging for a few years, I haven't blogged as much as I have until this year.. maybe  it's just that I didn't have much to say until now.. maybe it's just that I needed a therapeutic outlet to put my thoughts and feelings since I have a hard time talking about them.. whatever the reason.. here I am.

I rarely read others blogs unless they are my personal friends, however, a few months back I started to follow Storing up Treasures.. Courtney is the author and she is so inspirational.. when I wake  up and before I do anything else, I check to see if she's posted anything new.. I look forward to reading what she has to say and admiring the photo's she often posts (she's a beautiful photographer).

Courtney is a mother to 11 amazing kiddos.. she's married to her best friend.. she's an inspirational writer.. she's honest and so real! She talks about her personal struggles with depression, her journey and blessings with adoption, the challenges of raising kids with RAD (reactive attachment disorder), her faith, relationships and everything in between.

I'm not married and I don't have kids but I can still relate on so many different levels. I've learned so much about myself thru her blog (and have written about much of it). One of the things I have struggled with for years is really listening to God.. I am not someone who can sit in silence, meditate and have a two way conversation with God.. it doesn't work like that.. maybe I'm just not a good enough Christian, I don't know.. but I do hear him via different avenues and one of those avenues has been, Courtney's blog.

The other day I didn't get a chance to read her post before I went to work so as soon as a I had a minute, I signed on.. always in anticipation to hear what shenanigans Courtney and the kids had been up to.. and I was not only shocked but at a loss of words to find out, she had written her last post.. she was shutting down her blog.

Now, we have e-mailed a few times but other than that, other than me commenting on her blog and her commenting on mine.. we had no relationship.. no lasting friendship.. yet.. I was devastated. I wrote her an e-mail telling her how sad I was and probably sounding like some freaky stalker! But it truly does feel like I'm losing a friend.. someone who I could count on everyday to make me think, laugh, cry and generally be inspired by. Even her photography inspired me to do better.. as a matter of fact, it was because of her I bought my most recent lens (which arrived in the mail today).

Not having Courtney's blog to visit will be a whole that won't soon be filled but but whatever her reason for shutting it down was, I know it was important to her. Many blessings Courtney and all the best in where ever God leads you!!